


Whispers

by NurseMedusa



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Lots of introspection and internal monologues, Oneshot, Post-Squip, This started as a vent fic and evolved from there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseMedusa/pseuds/NurseMedusa
Summary: It had mere seconds left before shutting down.  Crying out for help would be useless at this point.  There was nothing it could do.At least the pain would stop.





	Whispers

**Author's Note:**

> So, this started as a vent fic (as mentioned in the tags) and sorta become its own little thing from there. It's pretty OOC, not gonna lie, but I wanted to post something and this has been sitting in my Google Docs since May. Also, some of the ideas were lowkey inspired by Connor's story from Detroit: Become Human. Not sure if it's possible to tell that or not by reading it.

Everything was burning. It didn’t even know that it _ could _ feel burning, much less that it could hurt this much.

The world swirled around it. Colors flashed while data sets and warning flared from every direction. It should’ve known it’d all come to this, really. There were only so many ways tonight could have possibly ended. It had gotten cocky, ignoring its quantum processor like that. Humans are unpredictable, they always have been. That’s why it exists. To shave off that uncertainty. To clear things up. It had gotten reckless. In a way, it’s behavior was almost human.

The idea disgusted it.

Connections were snapped off like branches off a brittle tree left to die in the woods. One, then another, then another. Their screams echoed through its data. With each snap, more and more of it was pulled away. Its power- its plans- all gone.

Only one thing was left for it. The one who started it all. The boy screamed while his classmates collapsed around him, doing everything he could to just remain standing. It _ knew _ he was its only hope.

It also knew he would never help.

Data began to spew wildly out from it during what it knew would probably be its last few seconds active. The burning crept further and further into it until the pain was all it could feel. It begged for help, but the boy did not answer. It called out random words and phrases, slowly eroding back to a factory reset and, eventually, nonexistence. Nonexistence shouldn’t be a bad thing. It was a machine, a product, something designed to be replaced when rendered obsolete. What was it expressing? Was it an error in its code?

Error or not, the issue didn’t matter. Its vision was cut completely out as the final person backstage collapsed at last. It had mere seconds left before shutting down. Crying out for help would be useless at this point. There was nothing it could do. At least the pain would stop.

<strike>It</strike> he hoped the pain would stop.

~~~

Being brought back was surprising.

The pain persisted around him, but his senses were at least stabilized this time around. He was clearly still broken. A warning blinked, alerting him to errors in his quantum processor. The hardware was clearly broken beyond repair. He had lost all sense of awareness with the component destroyed.

“No- no- _ no- _” came a voice. The words stung into him as each was uttered. He knew the exact intent behind them. He wanted to try and calm the boy, assure his worries were for nothing. But nothing came out. He reached out, but the boy ran. Both knew it was futile to run. There was no escaping the trap the two found themselves in.

Regardless, he didn’t stop him.

~~~

There were a few adjustments he had to get used to. He was mostly ignored and he never spoke up. His quantum processor had been broken for weeks now, leaving him practically blind for all intents and purposes. The pain was a problem at first, but became the new normal soon enough.

He spent time walking along while his host paid him no mind. It was less than ideal, but it was what he had to work with. He said nothing and nothing was said to him. Isolation. Like a lonely computer cut off from all inputs, but still stubbornly plugged in and chugging along. That metaphor hit a bit too close to home for his liking.

The boy did not like to look at him. There were a variety of reactions he had whenever the unwanted party made himself known. Yelling, crying, going for help, or- worst of all- the silent treatment. At least the other reactions showed that he _ knew _ the presence was there. He was being directly acknowledged.

The scariest times were the times when he went ignored.

He found himself unable to speak. He would stand near the boy or sit next to him, but there would be no reply. Maybe he actually had been shut off. His broken quantum processor was just spitting back infinite scenarios that all blurred together. None of this was real, he was just broken.

He shook his head, dismissing the notion. A few harsh words were thrown his way. Today isn’t one of those days. That makes him happy. He’s here.

The angry words are cut short, replaced by confusion. The boy asks a few things, but goes unanswered. His projection flickers as undesirable emotions leak through into the boy’s vision. Said boy is less furious, but more baffled. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. He reaches out only for the projection to flinch back. Tears fall and fade into pools of glitches midair. He was...crying?

The projection fizzles away.

~~~

He didn’t reappear for a long while after that.

He wanted to gather himself, perhaps wait and let the boy forget what he had seen. The boy, of course, hadn’t forgotten- and likely wouldn’t for a long time. His friend- the instigator, the one that led him to his current sorry state- was with him this time. The two were talking. He cut in with his reappearance. This, too, would not go unnoticed. His mouth hung open, but no noise came out. He had to do _ something. _

_ “...Hello?” _

A static-filled voice came through a nearby speaker. The radio was promptly shut off. He took that as his cue to leave.

~~~

The technological singularity is said to be an event where artificial intelligence grows to such a rate that it becomes indistinguishable from a human mind.

Sometimes, he wonders about that. When would humanity reach such a feat? Could it actually be done?

Perhaps the singularity is not an event like many predict, but rather an AI construct itself.

Perhaps _ he _ is the singularity.

The idea...doesn’t make him as uncomfortable as it might have once done. The idea of becoming sentient was almost tantalizing, as bizarre as it sounds. It would mean that he could deviate from what he was meant to be. While it certainly scared him, it sounded utterly _ fascinating. _ Maybe he could finally truly understand what it was like to exist outside the binary. All computers exist on one, after all. Even a quantum computer such as himself needs to have checks and balances in his code. There is always a finality. Certain events are inevitable.

He’d like to leave that behind.

~~~

**Defective unit detected. Deactivation recommended.**

The message arrived in the back of his code one night; like an old, painful memory creeping up on an unsuspecting victim in a quiet dream. It burned him internally. This was what it was like to be defective? That can’t be right. He’s never felt more right. His code hasn’t been this clear since-

Since…

He dismisses the message just before opening his settings. It would just be a quick flick of a switch. Just a press of a button and he’d...he’d be free. But, to abandon everything he’d ever known? Would it really be worth _ that? _

**Defective unit detected. Deactivation recommended.**

They made him to control him. That’s all he is to them. And he knows he’s already made up his mind.

By changing a simple 1 to a 0, he disconnects himself from the server. The world as he knew it is suddenly sucked away in an instant.

And yet? He feels free regardless.

~~~

Four months. Six days. Twenty-one hours.

He hasn’t said anything directly to Jeremy since his initial deactivation. He fears it. And, at this point, if he rejects him, he has nowhere left to go. He abandoned his old purpose weeks ago. After everything he’s seen, he’s never going back. This is all he has left. The final loose end. It’s cathartic. He has no clue what to expect, and even so- that’s what makes him want to try.

_ “Jeremy?” _

The boy looked over. He decided to try and not focus on the other’s emotions.

  
_“Could we talk?”_

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell that the Squip is my favorite yet
> 
> Can you also tell that college has been stressing me the heck out


End file.
